I have been advised by some people who should know that while your child is deployed or even on home base away from home you should keep your conversations peachy cream and never tell them anything that would upset them or put stress on them . Which of course means u have to lie sometimes, but if it benefits ur kid so what right? For the most part I agree but something happend yesterday that i simply could not ignore so I spoke out. now of course my son Lucas hasnt answered my msg and ignored my im request today. I am sure I dont have to tell you how painful that is.
I have been a good girl and followed advice to shut up sometimes even against my own judgement.
Last yr when my son was home on leave he had problems adjusting and I was furious at the way some of the people he knew in high school screwed with his head. Old girlfriend who broke up with him after visiting him on his home base. I understood that perfectly. I think 19 is too young to make a serious commitment and when u add that to facing deployment at any time it is just a big mistake. My son agreed at the time but of course the break up was hard on him. I used to like this girl until I learned what a player she is. During his brief leave there were many problems, unfortunately i had temporary custody of a really screwed up 14 yr old nephew. He was only with us briefly but long enough to just coincide with lucas leave. That was a disaster as this kid just wants to fight, tried to hit on one of lucs college age friends, { yea a girl} and generally being a jerk. but his constant pushing Luc to fight annoyed the hell out of us all. This kid thinks cuz he is really big he can take anyone. Yea, airborne army. I was in my bedroom one day and heard a big thump in the living room. Came out to see luc down on one knee with the idiot in a lock with one arm and luc smoking a cig in his other hand calmy keeping him down. He looked up at me and said"dont worry mom i wont kill him" my response was its about f time. The kid got a bit red in the face and started crying so luc let him up. This kid hits girls and beats his mom. When he came up against an army man he wimped out quick , little coward. BTW shortly after Luc left the kid decided to run away and threatened me, he quickly found out I wasnt his mom . he left and then tried to get back in cuz it was so cold out but found the doors locked. eventually the state police came and took him to alcoholic messed up moms workplace. Made it quite clear he wasnt welcome back.
I digress, sorry but rather imortant part of this story I thought.
The problem that really upset me was the ex wouldnt leave him alone. She has had a new boyfriend since about six minutes after she broke up with luc. She texted him constantly, insisted he sleep over at her place on the couch, and then one evening we were out to dinner she texts him that it is drasticly important that she come down 68 miles to where we live and pick him up to go back where we used to live to have time to talk "alone" So pushy she met us in the place we were eating in the middle of dinner then guess what shows up with her GIRLFRIEND. The girl sat on her lap and they texted people and ate food off lucs plate while we finished. Sadly I got so pissed I think it showed but Im only human.
So off he went. While staying with a male friend for the rest of his leave he drank a lot, and spent the night with possibly the most disturbed young woman in town. This girl has an abusive boyfriend she never broke up with, So while he is deployed she keeps emailing and msging him on fb about how her "ex" is threatning , stalking, harrasing her. Yea, he did go to jail a few yrs ago for beating her, but she went right back.
I kept my mouth shut the whole time, just positive things, no mention of it. He did mention it to me
The other day on fb I see a rant from my son posted about how this chick is screwing with him, and the guy is her boyfriend, he wants to break his face etc. it was a long one.
I broke, I couldnt take it. I wrote him a short but emphatic msg telling him that i love him, and i dont want to interfere in his life but he cannot be in a fob in the stan while having this high school shit on his mind, i told him forget it all, its just cluttering up your head while u r at war. I told him stay focused, aware and safe cuz not only his life but his fellow troops life depends on it. I also reminded him how often his nam vet dad told us all how dangerous short time is. He is due to return to home base before end of oct. my two sons are named after their dads best friend who died making a careless mistake on short time.
was i wrong? what would u do? would love some impact. he wont talk to me now but thats fine. he will get over it. i would just as soon he didnt think about me too much either, told him i would never bring it up again.
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